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Why Compassion is a Fundamental Leadership Strength — and a Necessity to Save Our Democracy
Even now, in my late thirties, I vividly recall the heartbreak I felt as a young child seeing devastating images of war flash across the evening news. With uncanny resolve for a four-year-old, I decided then and there that, when I grew up, I would do something to ease suffering in the world. That spark of compassion ignited a lifelong commitment to alleviating pain and injustice, beginning with volunteering in my rural hometown and evolving into a career as a changemaker advancing the common good on national and global stages.
Yet, that childhood determination to ease suffering has been tested countless times by the harsh realities of injustice and oppression. As a Black transgender person, I have always been keenly aware of the systems and mentalities that diminish and dehumanize people like me. Living with compassion and being of service in a world rife with cruelty and inequity has pushed me to my limits in ways I never anticipated. It has tested not just my resolve but my very ability to stay true to my values.
Time and time again, however, I have found that compassion is not only a source of strength but also a powerful catalyst for personal and collective transformation. Compassion, as Dr. Thupten Jinpa defines it, is “a sense of concern that arises when we are confronted with others’ suffering and feel motivated to see that suffering relieved.” Over the years, I’ve learned that compassion is not passive. It is an active force that can drive resistance to harm and builds solidarity with those most impacted by oppression.
Becoming an Elected Official: Compassion in Action
In 2017, I was elected to the Minneapolis City Council, becoming the first transmasculine person of color elected to office after a grueling campaign against a 50-year family dynasty. While in office, I fought for major system changes like protecting domestic violence survivors from unjust evictions, creating affordable housing, and launching unarmed mental health crisis response teams. These changes have produced positive results; however, at the time, the backlash was relentless.
After George Floyd’s murder by the Minneapolis Police Department, the intensity of public outcry grew exponentially, with competing demands for both major systemic change and the unjust comfort of business as usual. The scrutiny and misinformation from all sides, such as false claims about my motives for public safety reforms, left me increasingly isolated and defensive.
Compassion drove me to focus on the needs of the most vulnerable and advocate for systemic reforms even in the face of immense personal attacks and threats. Yet, my anger and hurt became overwhelming. I was quick to defensiveness and open frustration, losing my ability to truly hear what people were trying to say. While there was no common ground to find with people who fundamentally dehumanized me, the anger I felt was sometimes all-consuming, ultimately harming me further. Every insult and threat became another brick between me and the world, separating me from my best self.
By the time my reelection campaign ended in a bitter loss after a traumatizing cycle of misinformation campaigns, personal attacks, and threats to my family, my mental health was completely underwater. The constant anxiety and fear eventually took a toll on my physical health, causing high blood pressure by age 33. For the first time in my life, I questioned my purpose because all I could feel was anger and devastation.
Reclaiming My Compassion: Healing and Action
After months of depression, lying on the couch and feeling untethered from my purpose, I reached for a lifeline: A Fearless Heart by Dr. Jinpa. I hoped his guidance could help me release the anger and heartbreak that had become barriers between me and my best self.
As I made my way through the book, I forced myself to sit with those difficult emotions during Compassion Cultivation Training© practices like the “Just Like Me” exercise. This practice asks you to recognize that others—just like you—seek happiness and grapple with their own struggles. Yes, even the people who caused me harm… but it also included myself. Through this process, I discovered self-compassion, a completely novel idea for me at the time. Healing is also a vital part of the true power of compassion; it can provide the clarity and resilience needed to confront injustice and engage in meaningful solidarity.
Little by little, the anger that had once stood like a brick wall between survival mode and my best self began to dissolve. It became more like a dense fog, slowly dissipating until I could see my purpose again.
I remembered that I am here to do my part to alleviate suffering in the world by being of service, and I didn’t need an election certificate to live that purpose. Determined to move forward, I began unpacking the difficult experiences I had endured, exploring them as invaluable, hard-earned leadership lessons. These reflections revealed areas where I could grow, both as a leader and as a person, and how I could align my actions more closely with my values.
This marked the start of a period of tremendous post-traumatic growth, during which I reclaimed my purpose and began rebuilding my life with newfound clarity and resilience. Reclaiming my compassion was not just about healing; it was about rediscovering the strength to act in solidarity with others and resist systems of harm. Self-compassion became the anchor that allowed me to remain grounded while working toward systemic change, reminding me that compassion must flow both inward and outward to be sustainable.
Compassion as a Fundamental Leadership Strength
Before, during, and after my time in elected office, I have been a leadership development program designer and facilitator. I discovered this passion as a youth worker and became committed to helping values-driven people of all ages be effective in furthering the common good. Compassion had always been integrated into my leadership development work by default because one needed to fundamentally care about other people and the planet to lead in alignment with their values and make the world a better place.
However, I learned that leadership rooted in compassion requires more than action for others—it demands self-compassion. Without it, I became vulnerable to burnout, anger, and disconnection from my core values. Reclaiming my self-compassion became the foundation for rebuilding my leadership practice and aligning it more deeply with principles of equity and justice. Compassionate leadership provides the clarity to prioritize systemic solutions over superficial fixes. It is not about avoiding conflict or making concessions—it is about engaging with courage, shared humanity, and a commitment to justice.
Compassionate leadership is not just a tool for individuals; it is essential to the broader systems in which we live and work, including democracy itself.
Just as compassion is critical to effective leadership at the individual level, I began to understand how it is also essential to the broader systems in which we live and work—including democracy itself.
Why Compassion Matters Now More Than Ever
Democracy is under threat. Around the world, including here in the United States, we are witnessing rising authoritarianism, political and hate-motivated violence, and the erosion of fundamental freedoms and democratic institutions. Freedom House has documented this alarming trend of democratic backsliding since 2007.
It is no coincidence that authoritarianism, violence, and oppression are intertwined in this way, underscoring a critical truth: democracy cannot survive without compassion. Compassion is never about excusing harm or foregoing accountability. In this context, it’s about recognizing shared humanity and working collectively to end systemic injustice. Research shows that compassionate action in solidarity with others is one of the most effective forms of resistance to oppression.
As an example, mutual aid embodies this solidarity. By pooling resources, organizing locally, and meeting the immediate needs of those most impacted, mutual aid networks not only address systemic failures but also embody the power of compassion as democratic practice. These efforts cultivate trust, deepen interdependence, and reinforce the shared responsibility essential for sustaining a thriving democracy.
As I reflected on my experiences, I realized that compassionate resistance doesn’t just challenge systems of harm; it creates pathways for communities to thrive. The power of democratic strategies like mutual aid and grassroots organizing is not only in meeting immediate needs but in building a culture of interdependence and collective care that strengthens our social fabric and the foundation of democracy. That same spark of compassion I felt as a four-year-old—a spark so many of us carry—is the foundation for this kind of transformative action—a reminder that small acts of care can ripple outward into systemic change.
A Call to Action: Resistance through Compassionate Action
Resisting authoritarianism with compassion looks like pouring our energy into the communities we love and building power with those who are targeted by oppressive systems. This means showing up for mutual aid efforts, investing in organizations that serve and fight for the most marginalized, organizing for local change, and creating networks of care that prioritize the well-being and dignity of all while centering the most marginalized.
Compassion is neither soft nor weak; it is a powerful and transformative force for social change and democracy. By choosing compassionate action over stagnant anger, we build resilience and solidarity capable of dismantling oppression and creating a more just, inclusive society.
Compassionate resistance is both a moral imperative and a strategic necessity. The question is not whether we should act but how we will rise to meet this moment. Will you join us by igniting that spark of compassion within you to rise to this moment and transform it into action for justice, dignity, and collective liberation?
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